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Join us for the best networking luncheon in Bangkok on 06/June/12 at the Foreign Correspondent Club of Thailand, www.fccthai.com, Maneeya Building, BTS Chidlom. The BBC is different because it is a proactive way to network with other businesses. Instead of the usual one to one networking style in a social setting or speed-networking, the format is one to group. BBC is appropriate for business owners, sales and marketing professionals. The meeting is 2 hours and conducted during lunch time and includes a meal. The meeting is open to the public.

The fee is 500 baht for BNOW members and 700 baht for non-members including lunch (3 choices). Early bird offer, book and prepay for your seat and get a 10% discount on event fee. Non-member special, book and prepay for two seats pay membership price. E-mail us now to find out how to take advantage of the offer, bnow@bnow.org.

Please note that prepayments are not refundable, if you're unable to attend, you may send a subsitute.

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So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.

Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

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Wanted: Admin Staff for Brandnow.asia

Organization: Brand Now Co. Ltd. is located at 33 Manutham Mansion, Sukhumvit Soi 51, Bangkok 10110

Firm Description: Brand Now is a growing team of professional communicators who produce exciting work, generate exceptional results and a fun team.

Our work philosophy is to:
-Use our heads to work smart.
-Trust our hearts to know what is right.
-Do quality work because it's a reflection of our sincerity
-Have fun because it recharges our body, mind and spirit
-Make money because it's necessary.

Click here for more info.

To Apply: Please send a cover letter and resume to:

Kittima Sethi
PR Consultant
Brand Now Co., Limited
33 Manutham Mansion, 2nd Floor, Room 4, Sukhumvit Soi 51, Klongton Nua, Wattana, Bangkok 10110
Kittima@brandnow.asia, www.brandnow.asia
T: +66 2 662 5622, Direct Line: +66 2 662 5651, M: +66 81 826 2399

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Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children". "Impressive" said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see this tower?" Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says "Well, I didn't".

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This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts, but Hey! He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around. During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"

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The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit.

The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid hag was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.

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Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?” “Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says “Liver alone. Cheese mine.”

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Queen Sirikit Center for Breast Cancer, Basement Level, Chulalongkorn Hospital.
1873 Rama IV Road, Patumwan, Bangkok 10330, Thailand.

Tel: 02-256-4991 (ext.1026) | Mobile: 085-908-8002 | Fax: 02-256-4991 (ext.1025)
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